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what if no one’s watching
March 10, 2010 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, parenting, su2c.org, wordless wednesday | Tags: breastfeeding, attachment parenting, wordless wednesday, nursing, breast feeding, toddler nursing, hodgkin's lymphoma, extended breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding, extended nursing, toddler nursing photos, toddler breastfeeding photos, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing photos, walt disney world, disney world, disney, disney parade, stem cell transplant | 6 comments
i’m free
November 28, 2009 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, parenting | Tags: friends, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, hospitalization, lymphoma, meme, toddler nursing | 5 comments
(but not) to do what i want any ol’ time. i’m just unhooked momentarily from tubes, which i have to say, is in fact, heavenly. i’m also really tired a can’t feel my way to type. so here’s the round ‘up you’ve all been eagerly awaiting and hoping against hope for.
november 15, a sunday, i checked into casa doyle for some amazing fun, food and frivolity. seriously, i could totally live there as the non-participating sister wife. dude, everyone needs a housewife and my dearest of friends does not disappoint. there was coffee ready every morning. we cooked breakfast, went out to lunches, ordered in for fun and made some spectacular dinners. mostly i just stood there when the spectacular dinners were emerging. there were two mammas, two nurslings, and (eventually two) very happy daddies with ex-disney girls for wives.
monday, november 16th through wednesday, november 18th my amazing friend drove me to the pathology lab that does stem cell harvesting. thursday, november 19th i was admitted here to the bmt (bone marrow transplant) unit. all bmt units are generally still referred to as such since autologous and donor stem cell transplants are relatively new. well, new enough not rename the units yet.my havest days were uneventful. so was my check-in day.then day -5 (11/20) i started high-dose ICE chemo. that lasted through the weekend and finished up on the early pat of day-2 (11/24). the days -2 and -1 were mostly fluids and resting, and let me tell you, plenty of barfing. nasty!
i got my stem cells back on wednesday, november 25, day 0.
we’re at day +3, and it’s saturday, november 28th. i spiked a high fever last night, as was expected at some point. i got all of my lines, blood and urine cultures right away. then i woke up after a few hours of iv antibiotics and needed some benadryl to combat the red man syndrome i was suffering.
so there it is, my life in a nutshell so far. i’m sure i missed plenty and didn’t talk any about the hospital drama with nugget visiting, but they’ve already beaten me back to a half slumber with the benadryl and reconnected me while i typed.
more to come, i promise!
feed the animals
May 20, 2009 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, mothering, travel | Tags: breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, breastfeeding photos, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, extended nursing photos, nursing, nursing after chemo, nursing after chemotherapy, nursling, san diego zoo, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing, toddler nursing photos, travel | 6 comments
right down the middle of main street
May 1, 2009 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, disney, mothering, travel | Tags: attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, breastfeeding photos, child-led weaning, disney, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, meme, minnie mouse, mothering, nursing, nursing after chemo, toddler, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing | 23 comments
what will you celebrate?
April 3, 2009 in breastfeeding, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, travel | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, disney, disney parade, disneyland, disneyland chracters, disneyland parade, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, nursing, nursing after chemo, nursing after chemotherapy, paradise pier, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 2 comments
nugget and i spent the past three days celebrating the end of a successful round of chemo and our return to nursing. disney doesn’t have a button for that, but we still had a fantastic experience.
our sincerest thanks and gratitude to the new parade cast and characters at the paradise pier breakfast. you all made our celebration absolutely magical.
pictures soon, i promise!
for auld lang syne, my dear
January 6, 2009 in attachment parenting, birthdays, blogging, books, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, crafting, disney, environment, green living, hodgkin's lymphoma, holidays, lists, meme, mothering, movies, moving, parenting | Tags: attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, blogging, books, breast feeding, breastfeeding, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, disney, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hair loss, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, moving, nursing, nursing after chemo, parenting, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 10 comments
my sister’s one-day sister-in-law (i just know it!) tagged me in a facebook note, “end of year meme.” it would have been sooo easy to use the majority of her answers because, dude, it’s like she wrote them just for me! but, alas, she did not, so i’ve crafted my own responses just for you.
- what did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
was diagnosed with and treated for cancer - did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make them - did anyone close to you give birth?
most recently, the greenes welcomed their twin girls - did anyone close to you die?
i lost an old friend. he was a great man. - what countries did you visit?
chemoland. it sucked.
walt disney world - what would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
energy and hair - what date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
june 12th, it was the last time i nursed my daughter before i started chemo - what was your biggest achievement of the year?
resuming nursing after battling cancer - what was your biggest failure?
having to stop nursing
yes, i realize that was beyond my control, but to me it felt like failure. - did you suffer illness or injury?
yes - what was the best thing you bought?
our new house - whose behavior merited celebration?
my mother’s
my husband’s
my daughter’s - whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
northern virginia’s drivers - where did most of your money go?
our new house - what did you get really, really, really excited about?
taking my daughter to disney for the first time - what song will always remind you of 2008?
the hot dog song - compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer - what do you wish you’d done more of?
crafted more homemade gifts
visited more friends
blogged more
taken more photos and video of my family and friends - what do you wish you’d done less of?
had less cancer
gained less weight - how did you spend christmas?
at our new house with my husband’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, and my parents, grandparents, aunt & her family and her godparents & their family - did you fall in love in 2008?
every day - how many one-night stands?
(seriously? this one i have to change to something more mommy blog- friendly) - what was your favorite tv show?
lost - do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
hate? that’s much too strong of a word. - what was the best book you read?
did i read any books? i know i started reading anthony bourdain’s the nasty bits, but i can’t even remember if i’ve finished it. - what was your greatest musical discovery?
steve burns’ and the flaming lips’ steven drozd’s ” i hog the ground”
- what did you want and get?
to nurse my daughter again - what did you want and not get?
skinnier faster - what was your favorite film of this year?
this is the last question i answered because, honestly, i can’t remember watching any movie in its entirety aside from charlie wilson’s war. so i guess that’s it. though if i’d had opportunity to watch the x-files: i want to believe, i’m sure that would have beat out charlie wilson. - what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went to my birthday party, 35 - what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having more energy and less nausea after chemo - how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
chemo casual - what kept you sane?
prozac and ativan - which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
oh, how i love me some brit-brit. girl is a spectacular disaster! - what political issue stirred you the most?
the presidential election, though that was more of a circus then an issue - whom did you miss?
my friends from orlando - who was the best new person you met?
my chemo nurse, danna - tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
this is your life, right now. this is what you get. stop preparing for “someday” and start living it the way you want to now. - quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“it’s a brand new day, whatcha waitin’ for?” - tag five people to post their answers to this 2008 wrap-up meme. please link back to this blog from yours.
non-lucid drivel
the twinkies
motherhood and cancer
life with the moonhils
returnjourney
what changes did you make to “green up” your lifestyle?
collected more reusable shopping bags and got my mom in the habit of using them, too
started a compost pile
chose a tankless hot water heater for the new house
that’s all folks
December 3, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: abvd, attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, nursing, nursing after chemo, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 21 comments
here’s the big news: as long as my next pet scan is clean (like the last one was) then i’m done. no more chemo, no radiation. done.
what this means for us right now is nugget can nurse again. amen!
mother’s milk, the b side
August 11, 2008 in attachment parenting, blogging, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, parenting | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, extended nursing photos, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, motherwear, pumping, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing, toddler nursing photos | 7 comments
today, the motherwear breastfeeding blog is running a compliation piece of mine. i’m so honored and excited! if you haven’t subscribed to that blog yet, i highly recommend it.
and since we’re already talking about me, here’s what some other people have had to say about me recently:
going for the gold – world breastfeeding week 2008
pure love
you’re going to cry
what love looks like
i’m missing you and nobody knows it but me
July 25, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding photos, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, extended nursing photos, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, infant breastfeeding photos, infant nursing photos, meme, mothering, nursling, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing, toddler nursing photos | 10 comments
i miss nursing my daughter.
good night
like the deserts miss the rain
July 7, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, chemo, chemotherapy, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, nursing, toddler nursing | 7 comments
oh, how i miss the simplicity of our nursing days. life without breastfeeding is hard, and cancer certainly isn’t making it any easier. crying was limited to brief moments following boo boos and over-tired minutes post car seat strap-ins. it was never part of naptime or bedtime. a balanced diet was effortless.
i never knew the struggle of naptime. now i have to walk and rock nugget in my arms or in a peanut shell while she chews on a pacifier, maybe holds her blanket and always twiddles at least one nipple. at night we lather, rinse, repeat or if i’m really lucky we just lay down and she holds on to each boob, binky clenched between her teeth and drifts off, dreaming of nursing i imagine.
i never knew a picky toddler. whenever nugget was hungry or thirsty the milk bar was alawys open. trying new and different foods was fun instead of stressful. nugget’s tummy was never upset. her favorite snack was always handy. we never had to pack a meal to go out.
i did at least have a few weeks and the foresight to work in the concept of “kisses make boo boos all better.” nugget still kisses my port and scars everyday. recently she’s added my breasts to her fix-it list and kisses and hugs them all day long. she’s trying her best to make mommy all better with her kisses, because she knows that’s when she can have her nursies back.
whatchoo talkin' 'bout?