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life is turning into an overwhelming struggle, an everyday battle that i feel left alone and completely unprepared to fight.
where’s my army? where’s my band of brothers? (most of them, awol, i fear, gone bamboo, off lurking in their idyllic hideouts.)
i never said i’d be easy. i never promised not to be a complete disaster. i thought i held up a big end of the bargain. i lived.
that didn’t end my war though. so where are you? i’m not asking for your sympathy, your understanding, your tears. i just want your help. and if you can’t find your way to here to offer it, then let me come to you.

there’s been much discussion over the arrival of my pain meds. i’ve been asking for them since 3pm. it’s now 10:07pm. i’m in pain, and now super irritated. grrr…











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