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hamlet
April 28, 2010 in breastfeeding, cancer, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma | Tags: breastfeeding, lymphoma, nursing, breast feeding, cancer, chemotherapy, breastmilk, breast milk, hamlet, human alpha-lactalbumin made lethal to tumor cells, human alpha-lactalbumin made lethal to tumour cells, human alpha-lactalbumin | 2 comments
tanya’s got another excellent post up at the motherwear breastfeeding blog. today, she writes about the value of breastmilk in cancer treatment.
it’s been known for some time that a component of breastmilk, called human alpha-lactalbubin made lethal to tumor cells (HAMLET for short!) causes cancer cells to die.
you can read more of tanya’s post here and read what i did with my own breastmilk during my battle with cancer here. tanya also ran a piece on my journey here.
what if no one’s watching
March 10, 2010 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, parenting, su2c.org, wordless wednesday | Tags: breastfeeding, attachment parenting, wordless wednesday, nursing, breast feeding, toddler nursing, hodgkin's lymphoma, extended breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding, extended nursing, toddler nursing photos, toddler breastfeeding photos, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing photos, walt disney world, disney world, disney, disney parade, stem cell transplant | 6 comments
feed the animals
May 20, 2009 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, mothering, travel | Tags: breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, breastfeeding photos, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, extended nursing photos, nursing, nursing after chemo, nursing after chemotherapy, nursling, san diego zoo, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing, toddler nursing photos, travel | 6 comments
right down the middle of main street
May 1, 2009 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, disney, mothering, travel | Tags: attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, breastfeeding photos, child-led weaning, disney, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, meme, minnie mouse, mothering, nursing, nursing after chemo, toddler, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing | 23 comments
what will you celebrate?
April 3, 2009 in breastfeeding, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, travel | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, disney, disney parade, disneyland, disneyland chracters, disneyland parade, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, nursing, nursing after chemo, nursing after chemotherapy, paradise pier, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 2 comments
nugget and i spent the past three days celebrating the end of a successful round of chemo and our return to nursing. disney doesn’t have a button for that, but we still had a fantastic experience.
our sincerest thanks and gratitude to the new parade cast and characters at the paradise pier breakfast. you all made our celebration absolutely magical.
pictures soon, i promise!
for auld lang syne, my dear
January 6, 2009 in attachment parenting, birthdays, blogging, books, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, crafting, disney, environment, green living, hodgkin's lymphoma, holidays, lists, meme, mothering, movies, moving, parenting | Tags: attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, blogging, books, breast feeding, breastfeeding, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, disney, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hair loss, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, moving, nursing, nursing after chemo, parenting, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 10 comments
my sister’s one-day sister-in-law (i just know it!) tagged me in a facebook note, “end of year meme.” it would have been sooo easy to use the majority of her answers because, dude, it’s like she wrote them just for me! but, alas, she did not, so i’ve crafted my own responses just for you.
- what did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
was diagnosed with and treated for cancer - did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make them - did anyone close to you give birth?
most recently, the greenes welcomed their twin girls - did anyone close to you die?
i lost an old friend. he was a great man. - what countries did you visit?
chemoland. it sucked.
walt disney world - what would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
energy and hair - what date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
june 12th, it was the last time i nursed my daughter before i started chemo - what was your biggest achievement of the year?
resuming nursing after battling cancer - what was your biggest failure?
having to stop nursing
yes, i realize that was beyond my control, but to me it felt like failure. - did you suffer illness or injury?
yes - what was the best thing you bought?
our new house - whose behavior merited celebration?
my mother’s
my husband’s
my daughter’s - whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
northern virginia’s drivers - where did most of your money go?
our new house - what did you get really, really, really excited about?
taking my daughter to disney for the first time - what song will always remind you of 2008?
the hot dog song - compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer - what do you wish you’d done more of?
crafted more homemade gifts
visited more friends
blogged more
taken more photos and video of my family and friends - what do you wish you’d done less of?
had less cancer
gained less weight - how did you spend christmas?
at our new house with my husband’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, and my parents, grandparents, aunt & her family and her godparents & their family - did you fall in love in 2008?
every day - how many one-night stands?
(seriously? this one i have to change to something more mommy blog- friendly) - what was your favorite tv show?
lost - do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
hate? that’s much too strong of a word. - what was the best book you read?
did i read any books? i know i started reading anthony bourdain’s the nasty bits, but i can’t even remember if i’ve finished it. - what was your greatest musical discovery?
steve burns’ and the flaming lips’ steven drozd’s ” i hog the ground”
- what did you want and get?
to nurse my daughter again - what did you want and not get?
skinnier faster - what was your favorite film of this year?
this is the last question i answered because, honestly, i can’t remember watching any movie in its entirety aside from charlie wilson’s war. so i guess that’s it. though if i’d had opportunity to watch the x-files: i want to believe, i’m sure that would have beat out charlie wilson. - what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went to my birthday party, 35 - what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having more energy and less nausea after chemo - how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
chemo casual - what kept you sane?
prozac and ativan - which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
oh, how i love me some brit-brit. girl is a spectacular disaster! - what political issue stirred you the most?
the presidential election, though that was more of a circus then an issue - whom did you miss?
my friends from orlando - who was the best new person you met?
my chemo nurse, danna - tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
this is your life, right now. this is what you get. stop preparing for “someday” and start living it the way you want to now. - quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“it’s a brand new day, whatcha waitin’ for?” - tag five people to post their answers to this 2008 wrap-up meme. please link back to this blog from yours.
non-lucid drivel
the twinkies
motherhood and cancer
life with the moonhils
returnjourney
what changes did you make to “green up” your lifestyle?
collected more reusable shopping bags and got my mom in the habit of using them, too
started a compost pile
chose a tankless hot water heater for the new house
that’s all folks
December 3, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: abvd, attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, nursing, nursing after chemo, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 21 comments
here’s the big news: as long as my next pet scan is clean (like the last one was) then i’m done. no more chemo, no radiation. done.
what this means for us right now is nugget can nurse again. amen!
the glamorous life
July 28, 2008 in attachment parenting, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: attachment parenting, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, hodkin's disease, nursing | 24 comments
i’m almost bald. i only shower every few days. as soon as the nausea ends the muscle pain starts. then comes the bone pain. after that subsides then it’s time to start all over again. i give nugget everything i have regardless of the overwhelming exhaustion.
this is the reality in our home. this is what my cancer looks like. this is how my daughter copes with my illness.
like the deserts miss the rain
July 7, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, chemo, chemotherapy, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, nursing, toddler nursing | 7 comments
oh, how i miss the simplicity of our nursing days. life without breastfeeding is hard, and cancer certainly isn’t making it any easier. crying was limited to brief moments following boo boos and over-tired minutes post car seat strap-ins. it was never part of naptime or bedtime. a balanced diet was effortless.
i never knew the struggle of naptime. now i have to walk and rock nugget in my arms or in a peanut shell while she chews on a pacifier, maybe holds her blanket and always twiddles at least one nipple. at night we lather, rinse, repeat or if i’m really lucky we just lay down and she holds on to each boob, binky clenched between her teeth and drifts off, dreaming of nursing i imagine.
i never knew a picky toddler. whenever nugget was hungry or thirsty the milk bar was alawys open. trying new and different foods was fun instead of stressful. nugget’s tummy was never upset. her favorite snack was always handy. we never had to pack a meal to go out.
i did at least have a few weeks and the foresight to work in the concept of “kisses make boo boos all better.” nugget still kisses my port and scars everyday. recently she’s added my breasts to her fix-it list and kisses and hugs them all day long. she’s trying her best to make mommy all better with her kisses, because she knows that’s when she can have her nursies back.
mother’s milk
June 24, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: breast feeding, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, nursing, pumping | 9 comments
today is the motherwear breastfeeding blog’s 17th carnival of breastfeeding and the theme is pumping. while i didn’t chose to submit for the carnival, i am chosing today to write about pumping.
i’ve written before about my love hate relationship with the pump… well, mostly about the hate portion. its rhythmic sucking makes me sing little songs to its always irritating tempo. then they mix around with the gymboree songs already stuck in my head. then i realize how badly i really do need the prozac and ativan.
i don’t know for sure how long it’s going to last. i’m trying to be realistic about the prospect of having cancer, undergoing chemo and pumping for (hopefully only) six months. it’s kind of like starting out nursing. i tried to limit my expectations of myself. i said i’d aim for six months and then see if i could go for a year. that seemed ridiculously long to me at the time, much like pumping for six months does now. but a year came and went and well, here we are.
nugget daddy stayed down at my parents’ last night so nugget and i have been left to fend for ourselves for the majority of the past two days, save for a playdate and lasagna drop off yesterday afternoon.
i didn’t get to pump at all yesterday. i can’t pump in front of nugget. that would be like asking your pregnant best friend to take you to happy hour. i meant to pump last night once she went to sleep, but i fell asleep, too. my boobs had been angry ever since.
nugget likes to have her naps with me in the peanut shell, but this limits my options for the duration of naptime as to what i can actually accomplish with twenty pounds of sleeping toddler strapped to my chest, lovely though as she feels snuggled against me. her grandmamie puts her to sleep in the stroller and i bribed her into it with chocolate chips this afternoon so i could pump, finally, and subsequently blog about it. lucky you!
i was so angry the first few times i pumped after starting chemo. it was like rubbing salt in the wounds. i couldn’t nurse nugget and i had to stand uncomfortably in the bathroom watching my milk fill up plastic bottles instead of a happy baby. and then as i would dump the ounces of hearthache down the sink a new wound would appear like a gaping mouth to catch my salty tears and sting my aching soul. what a waste.
you won’t find much if you google “cancer” and “breastfeeding” except for articles about nursing after breast cancer. “chemo” and “breastfeeding” yields the same contraindication tagline over and over, and “cancer” and “breastmilk” mostly just points you to article after article about this guy who drank breastmilk to fight his prostate cancer. those, mostly sensational and local news, articles mention milk banks selling milk to cancer patients when they have excess available to sell. it costs $3 an ounce.
i’ve had plenty of time to think about that guy and those $3 ounces while making up songs to the pump’s rhythm and calculating how much i’d just poured down the drain. warning! here comes the crunchy freaky part. squee! maybe you want to stop reading, uptight next door neighbor guy or old school grandpa, maybe there’s a golf game you’d rather be watching. okay, so seriously, why the fuck would i want to keep dumping my milk down the drain when other cancer patients are paying good money to get their hands on it? i don’t know what exactly it might do for me, but it sure won’t be doing anything at the bottom of the sink that’s for sure. so i sucked it up and sucked it down.
it was sort of gross at first, though why exactly i’m not sure. i think it was the temperature. i can’t think of any beverage i regularly consume at body temperature. but now i’m used to it and pleased by thought that i might actually be doing something to help save my own life.
so, now i have a new goal. i want to pump twice a day for the whole six months, or however long it might be. i know i might get sick. i know i might have to stop if i do. but if i approach it the way i did breastfeeding, then maybe i can make it through. maybe if i tell all of you about my plan then i’ll be hell bent on reaching my goal. maybe some mother out there trolling the interwebs for a glimmer of hope will find my blog now, instead of all the other useless crap i found.
whatchoo talkin' 'bout?