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what if no one’s watching

March 10, 2010 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, parenting, su2c.org, wordless wednesday | Tags: breastfeeding, attachment parenting, wordless wednesday, nursing, breast feeding, toddler nursing, hodgkin's lymphoma, extended breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding, extended nursing, toddler nursing photos, toddler breastfeeding photos, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing photos, walt disney world, disney world, disney, disney parade, stem cell transplant | 6 comments

town square, magic kingdom, walt disney world, february 2010

you are my shining star

July 28, 2009 in attachment parenting, chemotherapy, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: attachment parenting, chemo, chemotherapy, eshap, eshap chemo, eshap chemotherapy, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, hospitalization, lymphoma, mothering, steroids | 2 comments

nugget and nuggetdaddy just left from their second visit today. poor nugget is starting to get sad when she has to leave now. ugh! it just breaks my heart. we try to focus her attention on going to see her friends and getting to eat a piece of candy once she gets in her carseat. but, we can clearly see that she’s missing her mama a lot now.

my dear friend barbara visited me today. she brought disney couture bracelets for nugget and me. so sweet and just gorgeous (just like her)!

the steroids are really starting to get to me. i have lots of nervous energy and have a hard time sitting still, despite the fact that i don’t exactly have loads of energy. i had an ativan nap this afternoon and plan to have another one tonight with phenergan.

the nausea has really kicked in and my appetite is pretty much gone. that’s okay though. all i have to do is drink fluids. i won’t be starving to death anytime soon.

okay, dear readers, that’s the best i can slap together for you right now. have a good night!

what makes the red man red?

July 7, 2009 in attachment parenting, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, su2c.org | Tags: attachment parenting, chemo, chemotherapy, eshap, eshap chemo, eshap chemotherapy, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, salvage chemo, salvage chemotherapy | 4 comments

yesterday, nuggetdaddy and i dropped nugget off at grandad & grandmamie’s and then made the trek up to loudoun hospital where i was admitted and started my first day of eshap chemotherapy. i’ll be here at least until friday. my oncologist said he plans to keep me until he feels i’m well enough to go home.

nugget and nuggetdaddy will come up on wednesday or thursday and stay with friends in lansdowne until i’m ready to leave.

nugget is already missing her mama. she loved the video email, but cried for me tonight when we skyped. i had to call back after she got into her pajamas and sing her winnie-the-pooh songs while she jumped on the bed.

the nurses are great so far. the pharmacist = FAIL. it took foreverrrrrr to get my pain meds, and frankly they’re no better than what i take at home. one likes to imagine that at least while in the hospital, pain might be better managed. ahem.

moving on… it’s late and normal people are sleeping. the steroids coursing through my veins say to me, “hey, let’s party!” i think i’m going to turn on the tv and take some ativan shortly to see if i can trick my body into sleeping.

good night, all. we’re only $74 from goal #2! i really hope we can meet (& surpass) it while i’m in for this first dose of chemo!

. . . . . . . . . . .

in response to reaching the $3600 goal:

YEAH!!! you guys (and ladies) rock! i am SO touched by your genorosity. i hope you’ll continue to spread the word. feel free to pass along this link: http://bitsofmyself.com/help-me-make-a-stand/ it will give interested readers a taste of my blog and show them exactly how they can doante directly to my team.

want to search for my star in the constellation? check it out & pass it along! go to: http://www.standup2cancer.org/constellation-launch?op=search

. . . . . . . . . . .

babes in chemoland i’m deep into day two now. feeling nauseated and in pain at times. a wicked headache sprung up on me. my face is a lovely shade of red from the chemo. it happened last time, too.

i didn’t get much sleep last night (but that’s a story for another day’s post) so i’m going to try for a nap now. wish me luck, since it’s shift switch time, and nothing good ever happens then.

right down the middle of main street

May 1, 2009 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, child-led weaning, disney, mothering, travel | Tags: attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, breastfeeding photos, child-led weaning, disney, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, meme, minnie mouse, mothering, nursing, nursing after chemo, toddler, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing | 23 comments

nursing on main street while waiting for parade at disneyland

what will you celebrate?

April 3, 2009 in breastfeeding, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, disney, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, travel | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, breastfeeding after chemo, breastfeeding after chemotherapy, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, disney, disney parade, disneyland, disneyland chracters, disneyland parade, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, nursing, nursing after chemo, nursing after chemotherapy, paradise pier, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 2 comments

nugget and i spent the past three days celebrating the end of a successful round of chemo and our return to nursing. disney doesn’t have a button for that, but we still had a fantastic experience.

our sincerest thanks and gratitude to the new parade cast and characters at the paradise pier breakfast. you all made our celebration absolutely magical.

pictures soon, i promise!

for auld lang syne, my dear

January 6, 2009 in attachment parenting, birthdays, blogging, books, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, crafting, disney, environment, green living, hodgkin's lymphoma, holidays, lists, meme, mothering, movies, moving, parenting | Tags: attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, blogging, books, breast feeding, breastfeeding, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, disney, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hair loss, hodgkin's, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, moving, nursing, nursing after chemo, parenting, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 10 comments

my sister’s one-day sister-in-law (i just know it!) tagged me in a facebook note, “end of year meme.” it would have been sooo easy to use the majority of her answers because, dude, it’s like she wrote them just for me! but, alas, she did not, so i’ve crafted my own responses just for you.

what did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
was diagnosed with and treated for cancer

did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don’t make them

did anyone close to you give birth?
most recently, the greenes welcomed their twin girls

did anyone close to you die?
i lost an old friend. he was a great man.

what countries did you visit?
chemoland. it sucked.
walt disney world

what would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
energy and hair

what date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
june 12^th, it was the last time i nursed my daughter before i started chemo

what was your biggest achievement of the year?
resuming nursing after battling cancer

what was your biggest failure?
having to stop nursing
yes, i realize that was beyond my control, but to me it felt like failure.

did you suffer illness or injury?
yes

what was the best thing you bought?
our new house

whose behavior merited celebration?
my mother’s
my husband’s
my daughter’s

whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
northern virginia’s drivers

where did most of your money go?
our new house

what did you get really, really, really excited about?
taking my daughter to disney for the first time

what song will always remind you of 2008?
the hot dog song

compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer

what do you wish you’d done more of?
crafted more homemade gifts
visited more friends
blogged more
taken more photos and video of my family and friends

what do you wish you’d done less of?
had less cancer
gained less weight

how did you spend christmas?
at our new house with my husband’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, and my parents, grandparents, aunt & her family and her godparents & their family

did you fall in love in 2008?
every day

how many one-night stands?
(seriously? this one i have to change to something more mommy blog- friendly)

what changes did you make to “green up” your lifestyle?
collected more reusable shopping bags and got my mom in the habit of using them, too
started a compost pile
chose a tankless hot water heater for the new house

what was your favorite tv show?
lost

do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
hate? that’s much too strong of a word.

what was the best book you read?
did i read any books? i know i started reading anthony bourdain’s the nasty bits, but i can’t even remember if i’ve finished it.

what was your greatest musical discovery?
steve burns’ and the flaming lips’ steven drozd’s ” i hog the ground”

what did you want and get?
to nurse my daughter again

what did you want and not get?
skinnier faster

what was your favorite film of this year?
this is the last question i answered because, honestly, i can’t remember watching any movie in its entirety aside from charlie wilson’s war. so i guess that’s it. though if i’d had opportunity to watch the x-files: i want to believe, i’m sure that would have beat out charlie wilson.

what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went to my birthday party, 35

what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having more energy and less nausea after chemo

how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
chemo casual

what kept you sane?
prozac and ativan

which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
oh, how i love me some brit-brit. girl is a spectacular disaster!

what political issue stirred you the most?
the presidential election, though that was more of a circus then an issue

whom did you miss?
my friends from orlando

who was the best new person you met?
my chemo nurse, danna

tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
this is your life, right now. this is what you get. stop preparing for “someday” and start living it the way you want to now.

quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“it’s a brand new day, whatcha waitin’ for?”

tag five people to post their answers to this 2008 wrap-up meme. please link back to this blog from yours.
non-lucid drivel
the twinkies
motherhood and cancer
life with the moonhils
returnjourney

that’s all folks

December 3, 2008 in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering | Tags: abvd, attachment parenting, breast feeding, breastfeeding, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, extended breastfeeding, extended nursing, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, nursing, nursing after chemo, toddler breastfeeding, toddler nursing | 21 comments

here’s the big news: as long as my next pet scan is clean (like the last one was) then i’m done. no more chemo, no radiation. done.

what this means for us right now is nugget can nurse again. amen!

oh, what a night!

August 30, 2008 in attachment parenting, co-sleeping, meme, mothering | Tags: attachment parenting, co-sleeping, cosleeping, night waking, toddlers | 5 comments

last night was rough! nugget, ever the fan of routines, has taken to developing her own late night-waking agenda. i think the wakings might be spurred by nightmares. i’m fairly certain last night’s was.

it starts with the wake up and is followed by the insistance that we exit the bed. she then drags me into the kitchen, usually with the request for tea. that’s right, i said tea.

sippy cup in hand, she instructs me to sit on the kik-step, saying, “mama! mama! up!” while smacking the stool where i should sit. after a few swigs of tea, she’s on to the next task. “mama. up! up!” she bellows while dancing around the kitchen near the cake dome. there are doughnuts under that dome. she knows. she wants them. now. up i pick her and she squeals, “do-duts!”

it’s 12:30 or 2:15 or 3:45 am and i don’t care what she wants to eat as long as she eats it quickly and we can go back to bed. soon. “mimmie! mimmie!” doduts must be eaten with her minnie mouse fork. i hope it’s clean. we find mimmie and put her dodut on a plate. “mama! up!” back on the stool i sit and she eats.

“mama, up!” she runs into tiny apartment’s living room and smacks the coffe table. this is where we should finish eating doduts with mimmie. “maaahmuhhh!” she coos lovingly. i thank her, but insist i am really not hungry for doduts at this hour. unacceptable! i pretend to eat bites of dodut.

“mama! mama! up!” she escorts me into tiny apartment’s pantry/laundry room. it is time to graze. “hmmmm…” she ponders the many choices on the wire shelves. it’s usually some organic, animal-shaped cracker or cookie that she chooses. after a few of those i beg to return to the bedroom.

some nights are better than others. this did not at all go well last night. there was screaming and crying and pleading. i think she was not only afraid of the earlier nightmare, but also had some horrible gas pains that were terrifying her. i finally got her to agree to sleeping on me in her nursing chair. i hope the neighbors got back to sleep quickly.

mother’s milk, the b side

August 11, 2008 in attachment parenting, blogging, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, child-led weaning, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, parenting | Tags: attachment parenting, breast feeding, breast milk, breastfeeding, breastmilk, cancer, chemo, chemotherapy, extended breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding photos, extended nursing, extended nursing photos, hodgkin's, hodgkin's disease, hodgkin's lymphoma, meme, mothering, motherwear, pumping, toddler breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding photos, toddler nursing, toddler nursing photos | 7 comments

today, the motherwear breastfeeding blog is running a compliation piece of mine. i’m so honored and excited! if you haven’t subscribed to that blog yet, i highly recommend it.

and since we’re already talking about me, here’s what some other people have had to say about me recently:

going for the gold – world breastfeeding week 2008
pure love
you’re going to cry
what love looks like