my sister’s one-day sister-in-law (i just know it!) tagged me in a facebook note, “end of year meme.” it would have been sooo easy to use the majority of her answers because, dude, it’s like she wrote them just for me! but, alas, she did not, so i’ve crafted my own responses just for you.
what did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? was diagnosed with and treated for cancer
did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i don’t make them
did anyone close to you give birth? most recently, the greenes welcomed their twin girls
did anyone close to you die? i lost an old friend. he was a great man.
what countries did you visit? chemoland. it sucked. walt disney world
what would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? energy and hair
what date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? june 12th, it was the last time i nursed my daughter before i started chemo
what was your biggest achievement of the year? resuming nursing after battling cancer
what was your biggest failure? having to stop nursing yes, i realize that was beyond my control, but to me it felt like failure.
did you suffer illness or injury? yes
what was the best thing you bought? our new house
whose behavior merited celebration? my mother’s my husband’s my daughter’s
whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? northern virginia’s drivers
where did most of your money go? our new house
what did you get really, really, really excited about? taking my daughter to disney for the first time
what song will always remind you of 2008? the hot dog song
compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier
thinner or fatter? fatter
richer or poorer? poorer
what do you wish you’d done more of? crafted more homemade gifts visited more friends blogged more taken more photos and video of my family and friends
what do you wish you’d done less of? had less cancer gained less weight
how did you spend christmas? at our new house with my husband’s parents, brother, sister-in-law, and my parents, grandparents, aunt & her family and her godparents & their family
did you fall in love in 2008? every day
how many one-night stands? (seriously? this one i have to change to something more mommy blog- friendly)
what changes did you make to “green up” your lifestyle? collected more reusable shopping bags and got my mom in the habit of using them, too started a compost pile chose a tankless hot water heater for the new house
what was your favorite tv show? lost
do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? hate? that’s much too strong of a word.
what was the best book you read? did i read any books? i know i started reading anthony bourdain’s the nasty bits, but i can’t even remember if i’ve finished it.
what was your greatest musical discovery? steve burns’ and the flaming lips’ steven drozd’s ” i hog the ground”
what did you want and get? to nurse my daughter again
what did you want and not get? skinnier faster
what was your favorite film of this year? this is the last question i answered because, honestly, i can’t remember watching any movie in its entirety aside from charlie wilson’s war. so i guess that’s it. though if i’d had opportunity to watch the x-files: i want to believe, i’m sure that would have beat out charlie wilson.
what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? went to my birthday party, 35
what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? having more energy and less nausea after chemo
how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? chemo casual
what kept you sane? prozac and ativan
which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? oh, how i love me some brit-brit. girl is a spectacular disaster!
what political issue stirred you the most? the presidential election, though that was more of a circus then an issue
whom did you miss? my friends from orlando
who was the best new person you met? my chemo nurse, danna
tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: this is your life, right now. this is what you get. stop preparing for “someday” and start living it the way you want to now.
quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “it’s a brand new day, whatcha waitin’ for?”
monday, the pet specialist will read my scans. i should hear something that day. i’ll be sure to post as soon as i do.
tonight, nugget and nugget daddy are sleeping in nugget’s big girl bedroom (aka, the guestroom) because mama is radioactive. this means i get the whole california king bed to myself. well, myself and the two cats. i hope they can find some room to squeeze in. the steroids are doing wonderful things to my physique. i’ll share with you my lastest self-portrait.
a woman i used to work with messaged me on myspace this week. i read it yesterday and it absolutely made my day, which i might add was spectacularly craptastic up until then.
“i started working at magic kingdom back in 1997 and only partially knew who you were. you were always cool to me at town square and spectro and stuff, but we were only acquaintances.
i happened upon your page through mikki and started reading your blog, “bits of myself”, and i cannot help being taken by how fucking amazing you are. sorry for the language from someone you do not know, but i can’t think of any other words. i don’t even remember where i started the “bits”, but i backed up to where you found out you had cancer. by the time i got to your final breast feeding with nugget, there were uncontrollable tears streaming down my face at how you kept apologizing to her, for something that you did not ask for.
i don’t know how much all of this means coming from someone you don’t know, but i just had to get this out. i was driving ddct floats when you were at mk with your baby girl, and i saw you two days in a row. knowing how painful it must be, there you stood in the sun, in a tank top, bald…smiling and waving.
i hope i didn’t weird you out with all this, but know that you have touched one more individual’s life. you are the strongest woman that i don’t know.”
i just needed to thank you for that and let you know that your kind words have touched my heart. thank you for reading my blog. and thank you to all of you who continue to do so. i hope you’ll all stay tuned for the exciting conclusion to this chapter of my life.
it’s difficult keeping up with a toddler all day. it’s really difficult when you have cancer. we have to start doing something different, for everyone’s sanity. sure, people come to help, here and there, but it isn’t enough. there are simply too many days when i can’t manage on my own. we’ve got to find a solution.
we’re working on plans right now, plans for our house, plans for our lives, plans for my treatment. it’s challenging figuring out how all the pieces of each individual puzzle are going to fit into the big picture.
we have to start splitting our time between here and there, “here” being where we live and “there” being where we will live. down there we’ll be with my parents who will help with nugget and nugget daddy won’t have to “commute” two and a half hours. i’ll be able to keep an eye on the house construction and bring a steady flow of coffee and doughnuts to the site. up here i’ll continue with my treatment at my oncologist and we’ll keep nugget happily enrolled in her gymboree class.
tomorrow is my birthday. so come life, let’s see what plans you’ve got for me this year.
today, the motherwear breastfeeding blog is running a compliation piece of mine. i’m so honored and excited! if you haven’t subscribed to that blog yet, i highly recommend it.
and since we’re already talking about me, here’s what some other people have had to say about me recently:
i thought my plate was full. clearly, i was mistaken. there’s always room for jell-o.
tuesday, nugget did a little couch diving. she seemed a bit shaken up post-tumble, but no worse for the wear. a little motrin (for her) took the edge off that night and in the morning she was right as rain. but that afternoon something wasn’t right. nugget was super mama-clingy and telling us her arm hurt. we took her to the pediatrician who asked us to get an x-ray in the morning.
we went first thing today and sure enough, both bones are broken, with buckle fractures right above her left wrist. i do not feel like mother of the year.
nugget now has a pretty green total arm cast for the next three weeks. she’ll get an x-ray each week through her cast to make sure the bones are healing properly. they should straighten themselves out on their own and she shouldn’t have any lasting damage. but still, my poor baby! and really, did i need this right now? ugh. then again, does anyone ever really need jell-o?
my little cabbages, i know you must think i’ve forgotten about you. mais, non! i think about you day and night. it’s just that sometimes those pesky chores of life, you know, building a house two and half hours away, raising a toddler, having cancer, having a sister and not one, but two dear friends in town, are using up all my minutes and i haven’t got any rollover. but fear not, we’re working on something amazing at chez bits as i type.
jenny is on her way over for paninis with nugget, tantie and me. then there are major plans in the works. m-a-j-o-r. you will not be disappointed!
we’re just going to have to take things slow. i mean, i like you, i really do, i just need some time to myself today. but tonight, i promise, we’ll have some special time together. just you and me and some spectacular video footage. i know, i know, i can hardly wait myself!
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